211114 Friday

It has been almost a year i kept my stories far from this site. Yes, as well, as the same thing i did, i just need blog whenever i'm seriously in tears. Nothing could be describe and share with others. I knew, people will say;

 "i'll be there for u, i'll give u my shoulder to lean on, i'll listen to your sadness. i'll wipe your tears, find me, i will always make u feel better when u in need"

But, the quest is, will them ?  Yes, some of them will and some will not be able to accomplish it. So, let me tell some of mine. 

I've got a boy. I will always introduced him to my friends. But not face to face, i story them about him, how awesome my life with him, i told them he changed me a lot. Yes, from this to this, he's super good in telling and making stories so our conversation will fill with laughter and smiles. I met him, after a long period i'd been single. I never imagine that i will fall in love with him, A STRANGE GUY WHO ASKED MY BBPIN. He got a good and nice way to tackle me. I will never know whether he did it with reason "to have my heart" or it was happen unplanned. So, with pleasure, i just thought that he was the guy. He first stole big of my heart with his text ;

"Kau bodoh ke ? Kau tak tahu ke aku cintakan kau?" 

True, extremely simple. But who knows ? Everyone got their own way and they express everything towards that. I do love him with FULL of my heart, life and he's everything to me. I know, he told me that he is not a good guy. He did this, did that.. but, he promise me to change. Well, he did. I am really proud of him. Hey! he did that! that's my guy! he'd improve a lot! 

And i still remember the first time where he struggled to hold my hand. It was happened when we went a mesra mall, watched movie, it was Insidious. I am too shy. My face was red, i'm cold. But at last, i end up with willing to have his hand holding my hand and it such a wonderful day for me. He showed me that he was a right guy. Until one day, i was hurt by him. Little by little until i cant bare to take all of it anymore. But, guess, i still have him in my head. Deep inside my heart, i just have him, be positive, a guy who love u really2 tak sengaja buat semua ni. Maybe he stress. But my mind kept told me;

"Aku pon stress, aku pon sedih, aku pon menangis hari2. Aku pon takde sesapa yang nak dengar isi hati aku, aku pon takde sesapa yang ambik berat whether i'm sad or not, tapi kenapa aku still stay positive and find him, why i will always thought about him whenever there's a guy u struggled to make me happy instead of my guy ? why i will always thought that i am not suppose to do this, that, those behind him? why do i have to never lied to him ?! why?!"

Deep inside, i whisper to myself, because U LOVE HIM so much that is why u couldn't bare to hurt him even u did. U cried EVERYDAY. yes u did hawa. Why ? sebab cinta. Kau tahu, u've got a lot of guys who tried to steal ur heart from him. But u remain stay with him. Have u ever think to be unfaithful ? never. Hawa, keeps ur head up! Think, if this is the best for u.. u know what u need to do. Out there, there are a lot of men u wait for u. U know that they are ready for ur marrige, so, decide.


Decision, is what the hardest thing i need to do. well said, I don't care kalau ada lelaki se hebat mana pon dengan harta yang dia ada, Aku tetap pilih kau NHN. I don't ever give a big damn kalau ada lelaki sehensem, kacak, tampan, bergaya macam mana pon yang datang pada aku, kau sentiasa teratas bagi aku. Kau terbaik, terhebat bagi aku Hidayat. Aku bahagia bila kita bergaduh, sebab itulah antara saat yang aku dapat masa kau, aku dapat perhatian dari kau.


I was about to cry when he knees in public and ikat tali kasut hawa. Ya Allah. Sumpah! i didn't ask him to do so. I asked him to hold my bag. But then, he went down and ..... alhamdulillah. Terima kasih sayang.

to be continue...

Cara melaksanakan solat taubat :

Cara melaksanakan solat taubat ini sama dengan solat biasa, iaitu setelah berwuduk dengan sempurna, then berdiri di tempat yang suci, menghadap kiblat ;

Waktu bila kita nak lakukan ? Ha...bila-bila masa merasa telah berbuat dosa (kecuali waktu makruh tahrim utk melakukan solat)*. Sebaik-baiknya 2/3 malam (pukul 2 pagi ke atas), semasa Qiyamullail

Lafaz niat macam mana pulak ?

 “Sahaja aku mengerjakan solat sunat taubat dua rakaat kerana Allah Ta’ala.” (Cukup di dalam hati, ada perbahasan ulama’ tentang lafaz niat dlm ibadah – sila rujuk kpd pakar feqah)

Rakaat pertama : membaca (disunatkan membaca doa Iftitah) kemudian surah Al-Fatihah. Lepas itu mana2 ayat atau surah dalam al-Quran yang kita nak baca. Hee

Rakaat kedua : membaca surah Al-Fatihah. Lepas itu mana2 ayat atau surah dalam al-Quran yang kita nak baca jugak..

Semasa sujud akhir rakaat kedua : Ucapkanlah Doa Nabi Yunus sebanyak 40 kali (bersungguh-sungguh di dalam hati memohon keampunan dari Allah Ta’ala)

Ertinya : "tidak ada Tuhan selain Engkau. Maha Suci Engkau Ya Allah, sesungguhnya aku adalah termasuk orang orang yang zalim"

Selepas salam :
perbanyakkan istighfar yang macam gini 

Ertinya: Ampunilah hamba Ya Allah. Tuhan yang Maha Agung. Tiada Tuhan yang lain melainkan hanya Engkau. Dialah Tuhan yang Maha Hidup lagi Maha Perkasa dan hamba bertaubat kepada Engkau ya Allah.

 Dan mari kita berdoa dengan Penghulu Istighfar ni,

Ertinya: “Ya, Allah Engkaulah Tuhanku, Tidak ada Tuhan selain Engkau, Engkaulah yang menjadikan aku. Sedang aku adalah hamba-Mu dan aku di dalam genggaman-Mu dan di dalam perjanjian setia ( beriman dan taat ) kepada-Mu sekuat mampuku. Aku berlindung kepada-Mu dari kejahatan yang telah ku lakukan. Aku mengakui atas segala nikmat yang telah Engkau berikan kepada ku dan aku mengaku segala dosaku. Maka ampunilah aku. Sesungguhnya tidak ada yang dapat mengampuni segala dosa kecuali Engkau.”

Just in 5 minutes with wudhu' , solat , pray. Only for 5 minutes, ALLAH had forgive us. Takpayah pon nak kena pujuk berminggu2. :) Indahkan ?